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You finally found her; your Chinese dream woman.

The love of your life. The next step is both exciting and daunting. Exciting because it is your dream come true; scary because you are not sure how her parents will accept you. Your Chinese girlfriend is very open-minded, but she is still a very strong daughter; when you propose to her, you must remember that the approval of her parents is of the utmost importance to your wife.
Her parents still come from an older generation of Chinese, who may still give more value to arranged marriages today, and perhaps not much to romantic love. That is, even though your proposal may be as romantic as you can make it, and even after the girl has happily accepted it, the actual success of your proposal will still depend on being accepted by your parents.
It is more likely that the first time you meet the parents of your current fiancé is when you formally ask her to be married. You may have given your creativity a proposal to your girlfriend who is traditionally of a Western nature, but the proposal you will give to your parents will traditionally be Chinese.
Usually, formal Chinese engagement is done with a visit by a man and his family to a girl and her family. The date of the visit was carefully selected using feng shui. A dowry is shared – the exact amount and other gifts are often determined by the girl’s parents. And then both parties agree to a wedding date, which is usually set within a year of the engagement.
Ideally, the first time your girlfriend’s parents meet you, it also won’t be the first time they find out about you! In any case, the fact that their daughter is hanging out with a stranger often means that they will not expect your “engagement visit” or proposal of engagement to strictly follow Chinese customs.
However, you should do everything you can to follow some of their traditional engagement practices. This will definitely earn you a lot of points with her parents, and I hope it helps you win their endorsement.
So when you finally meet your parents, bring them some gifts. Ask your fiancé what they will value most, both traditional and those who represent your own culture; will appreciate your sincere efforts in adopting some Chinese customs as well as unique, foreign gifts.
A man traditionally offers a woman a piece or a few pieces of jewelry, not necessarily an engagement ring, but they still symbolize official engagement. After you have already donated your jewelry / engagement ring to your fiancé, you should start discussing your intentions with your parents.
Sometimes they will even start talking to themselves about questions about your motivations, plans, goals and background. So when you start the conversation yourself, and if they don’t ask you any questions at all, that information should be provided by you.
The most important thing any parent will want to know is that their daughter is loved and will be well cared for. This is where the speech of your proposal was supposed to begin, but thank them first for their hospitality. Let them know how you feel about their daughter, that they do not have to worry about her well-being and future, and your intention to marry her. Usually you will refer to her parents as “Uncle” and “Aunt”.
Offer them information about your job / career, your plans for the future after being married. Basically, knowing that you are diligent, have a steady job and have the right priorities will suffice to convince them that their daughter and granddaughter’s future will be secure.
And then tell them what date you and your fiancé decided to get married. Again, it will be best if you follow Chinese customs and set an auspicious wedding date with your fiancé using feng shui. Or you can even wait for a meeting with her parents to allow them to participate in choosing their wedding date.
If you decide not to schedule your wedding right away because you both feel that you are not yet ready or stable enough to start a family, you must also explain it with your future laws. While they may feel that a wedding should happen as soon as possible, they will also appreciate your practical wisdom.
As long as they can see the sincerity of your intentions and how much you truly love their daughter and your true desire to care for her, the parents of your Chinese love will have no reason for you two not to give your blessing.

Autor SMSpoznanstva

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